Reflecting on Burnout as a Tech Worker in NYC

I didn’t plan to quit

It’s no secret that burnout was the most significant factor in me quitting my tech job on Wall Street. I didn’t plan to quit- I just came to the extreme point that risking financial ruin was a better option than staying even a single day longer in an unhealthy environment.

It’s been a year since I first noticed the signs of burnout. Since then, I’ve spent ample time considering how I came to my breaking point. I’ve wondered: I am dedicated, smart, and diligent- how did I not prevent this?

I’m not alone in these thoughts. In the past year, I’ve met many knowledge workers in NYC who say they’re burnt out and envy that I’m taking a year off of office work.

Make no mistake, burnout is an epidemic.

The signs of burnout

I believe the earliest signs of burnout are small, but significant changes in one’s normal daily habits. For myself, I noticed the following:

  1. I slowly stopped bringing my lunch into the office and started eating out every day.
  2. I slowly stopped working out 3 times a week.
  3. I slowly stopped seeing my friends outside of work.
  4. I slowly stopped calling my parents every other week.
  5. I slowly stopped doing my hobbies at all, including playing the harp and reading.
  6. I slowly increased the hours I spent at the office (from 9-5 to 8-6:30).

As you can see, every habit changed slowly over the course of months. Too slowly for me to really notice. At the time, I felt like my life was different (and not for the better), but it wasn’t clear to me what was wrong. Hindsight is 20/20.

My dedication (and greed) blinded me

As many ambitious knowledge workers are, I was deeply dedicated to my work and the identity it gave me. I enjoyed the challenging problems I had to solve and the status working at an investment bank gave me. However, I believe my own dedication (and perhaps greed?) blinded me. I had handwritten quotes on my WFH desk like:

“If you’re not getting results, you’re not doing the work.”

and

“Growth is uncomfortable.”

Although these sentiments have their place, I think wisdom is knowing when they apply to your situation. When symptoms of burnout were rising in me, these quotes were not the right guiding principles for me to maintain a healthy life.

My advice to my burnt out self

If I could go back a year, this is the advice would I give myself to avoid hitting my breaking point.

Ask people how you've changed

More specifically, I would sit down with people who knew me well (my husband and brother) and talk out how my lifestyle and life satisfaction had changed over the past year.

Other people can point out things you might not notice and help keep you honest. Upon reflection, my husband mentioned that he noticed the first signs of burnout six months before I did. He pointed out that the first sign was when I agreed to speak professionally on stage, something he knows I hate. I hadn't even considered this a sign until he mentioned it.

Review anything you have tracking your life

Could I go back in time, I would review anything I had automatically tracking my life for the past year. For example, I would look at how many steps I’ve taken per month. How many ClassPass classes I’ve taken per month. How much money I’ve spent on eating out each month. How much screen time I’ve spent each month (especially how long I used Microsoft Teams on my phone). How many hours I’ve practiced harp each month. How many meetings I’ve had before 9:00am each month. How many times I’ve called my parents each month.

This would give me clear evidence as to how my life had ebbed and flowed over the past 12 months. I would have clearly seen that my health, bank account, hobbies, and social life were suffering. Perhaps I would have been able to connect that with the underlying fatigue and anxiety I felt every day.

Get a life coach

The life coach I started working with this year through Lyra has been able to provide me with excellent insights and suggestions in how to identify my values in life. Through working with her, I’ve been able ground myself in these values (such as community and artistic fulfillment) as I reenter the fast-paced and often impersonal tech industry. I believe this will help me avoid burnout in the future and perhaps it could have helped me avoid it altogether if I'd had a life coach eariler.

I’d like to note that I already had a therapist in the early stages of my burnout who was excellent at listening to my deep existential problems. I see now that I could have also benefitted from having a tactical coach to help me make clear and small changes to my every day life. I would recommend getting both to anyone in a similar situation.

There will be more

I’ll continue to write about burnout and other topics common in the tech industry. Please let me know if you have any follow up questions by emailing me at mishi.lis@hey.com.

My next article will be book recommendations for burnout.